{"id":15209,"date":"2015-09-30T02:09:45","date_gmt":"2015-09-30T02:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smartrecoverybc.com\/?page_id=15209"},"modified":"2015-09-30T05:41:24","modified_gmt":"2015-09-30T05:41:24","slug":"being-where-you-are-and-doing-whats-important","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/smartrecoverybc.com\/index.php\/resources\/addiction-articles-and-essays\/rational-thinking\/being-where-you-are-and-doing-whats-important.html","title":{"rendered":"Being Where You Are and Doing What\u2019s Important"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1>Mindfulness: Being Where You Are and Doing What&#8217;s Important<\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3>By Hank Robb, PhD, ABPP<\/h3>\n<p>I purposely did not title this \u201cmeditation\u201d because it seems to me the word \u201cmeditation\u201d now has quite a number of different and contradictory meanings. One meaning is a practice that produces the \u201crelaxation response\u201d, the opposite of the \u201cstress response\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>I think relaxation is a great thing, but that is not what I mean to talk about here. There are lots of good instructions to achieve a \u201crelaxation response\u201d. Simply focusing on your breathing and noticing that while you can control your breathing, if you do nothing at all, breathing goes on all by itself. Focusing on this continual process of inhaling and exhaling, inhaling and exhaling and bringing yourself back to the process whenever your \u201cmind wanders\u201d is one good way to achieve relaxation. I&#8217;ve known a number of people who use it as an aid to falling asleep. If you are tired and you \u201crelax\u201d, sleep will often follow.<\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/eyKwKg5HGzA\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The problem of the \u201cwandering mind\u201d is that you may find you simply are no longer psychologically where you are physically. That\u2019s not so bad unless your aim is to do something you consider important. Since there is no time or place when one can do ANYTHING\u2014including important things\u2014except right here and right now, then psychologically, being some place other than the present moment is a problem.<\/p>\n<p>Thus the aim of this article is to assist in bringing ourselves into \u201cthe present moment\u201d or, said another way, \u201cbeing right here, right now\u201d, or said yet another way, being psychologically where we are physically.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Why? So we can better do what we choose to make important with our life.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I\u2019m going to call this \u201cbecoming mindful\u201d. The problem isn&#8217;t so much that one\u2019s mind wanders. The problem is more that we go \u201cwandering\u201d along with it. There is a certain sense in which each of us is \u201cour body\u201d. However, in another more psychological sense, we \u201chave bodies\u201d. These are MY hands, MY feet and this is MY mouth.<\/p>\n<p>From this more psychological point of view, your body is something you \u201cpossess\u201d rather than something that you \u201care\u201d. The same thing can be said of your thoughts, by which I mean those \u201cradio programs\u201d inside your head, or your images (by which I mean any experience with a \u201cpicture\u201d), or your bodily sensations (I\u2019ll just call them \u201csensations\u201d for short). By sensations, I mean things like your heart is beating faster or slower, your hands feeling cooler or warmer, or your stomach feeling tense or more relaxed.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes we can control our thoughts, images and sensations. Many times we cannot. Thoughts like, \u201cWhat a loser I am,\u201d or craving sensations to use a psychoactive substance, or sexual images more or less just \u201cshow up\u201d. We don\u2019t ask them to be there; they just \u201carrive\u201d whether we want them or not. If I ask you not to think of a white bear, my guess that you have already thought of one. You didn&#8217;t \u201cask\u201d it to come\u2026 it just did!<\/p>\n<p>While we may not be able to stop our thoughts, images and sensations from \u201carriving\u201d, we don\u2019t have to \u201cbelieve\u201d them when they do. There is a big difference between having the thought, \u201cMy life is awful!\u201d and BELIEVING the thought, \u201cMy life is awful!\u201d. There is a big difference between \u201csurfing an urge\u201d and \u201ctumbling around in it\u201d. You don\u2019t have to avoid urges, or thoughts, or images, in order to avoid being controlled by them.<\/p>\n<p>One thing that can really help in choosing whether to \u201cbuy\u201d a thought or image or sensation is to first notice, \u201cHey, that\u2019s a THOUGHT! Hey, that\u2019s an IMAGE! Hey, that\u2019s a SENSATION!\u201d That \u201cpsychological YOU\u201d that does the choosing can then better choose whether to take a thought or an image or a sensation \u201cseriously\u201d. YOU will make that choice much more mindfully if YOU first recognize them for what they are\u2026 namely nothing more than a bunch of YOUR thoughts, YOUR images and YOUR sensations. They aren\u2019t YOU\u2026 YOU are the person having them.<\/p>\n<p>There are some characteristics of this \u201cpsychological YOU\u201d that are worth noting. First, the \u201cpsychological YOU\u201d has been around for about as long as you can remember. When you were five or eight or ten and had a completely different body, pretty much the same YOU that is here now, was there back then. Secondly, this psychological YOU is a little like the eye of a hurricane. While thoughts, images and sensations swirl around and come and go, this psychological YOU remains pretty much as it always has been. The experience is a little like the way a playing field remains pretty much the same even though the many games played on it may be very different; or like the way a kitchen remains pretty much the same even though the many meals prepared in it may be very different. Sometimes it is nice to experience a sense of stability in life especially if many other places are changing. This \u201cYOU\u201d provides that sense of stability.<\/p>\n<p>A third (and perhaps most important) characteristic is that when in contact with this psychological YOU, it is quite clear that no matter how \u201cout of control\u201d YOUR thoughts, images or sensations seem to be, YOU are very much in control of YOUR hands, arms, feet and mouth. No matter how much YOU have the thought, \u201cI MUST drink,\u201d YOU can choose to do things with YOUR hands, arms, feet and mouth other than drink. No matter how strongly YOU have an urge to avoid work, YOU can choose to do things with your hands, arms, feet and mouth that keep you focused on work. No matter how vividly YOU have an image of a short run of enjoyment, YOU can do the things that are important to you in the long run.<\/p>\n<p>So, the kind of mindfulness I am talking about includes being present with YOUR thoughts, images and sensations while recognizing they ARE only a bunch of thoughts, images and sensations, and also recognizing YOU can exert control over your hands, arms, feet and mouth.<\/p>\n<p>The mindfulness I am talking about also includes \u201cbeing mindful\u201d of what direction you are taking with your hands, arms, feet and mouth. It asks the question, \u201cAm I\u2014right here, right now\u2014in this present moment moving my hands, arms, feet and mouth in a direction that is actually important to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><strong>\u201cIf I choose to be the best student I can be, are these movements that I am making\u2014right here, right now\u2014in that direction?\u201d<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cIf I choose to be the best parent I can be, are these movements that I am making\u2014right here, right now\u2014in that direction?\u201d<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cIf I choose to be the best mate I can be, are these movements that I am making\u2014right here, right now\u2014in that direction?\u201d<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cIf I choose to be the best worker I can be, are these movements that I am making\u2014right here, right now\u2014in that direction?\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>\u201cWhatever direction I choose, are these movements that I am making, in this present moment\u2014right here, right now\u2014taking me in that direction? If not, then with my very next movement, I will put my actions in line with the direction in my life that I choose to make important.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><strong>How does a person \u201cbe where they are and do what\u2019s important\u201d?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Like anything else, <em>by practicing<\/em>! Our thoughts and images and sensations invite us to take a ride out of the present moment and off to\u2026 well who knows where!!! However, when we notice they are ONLY thoughts, ONLY images, and ONLY sensations, we can \u201clet them leave the station\u201d without us. We focus on doing\u2014in this very moment\u2014whatever the moment requires for us to move in directions we choose to make important with our life.<br \/>\nPractice, practice, practice and most likely, we\u2019ll get better at:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>1. Being mindful that our thoughts, images and sensations are only that;<br \/>\n2. Being mindful of our control over our hands, arms, feet and mouth; and<br \/>\n3. Being mindful of choosing the direction in which we exert that control.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.smartrecoverybc.com\/toolchest\/Being-Where-You-Are.pdf\" target=\"_self\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.smartrecoverybc.com\/images\/pdf.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"36\" height=\"36\" align=\"absmiddle\" border=\"0\" \/> Printer-friendly page<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mindfulness: Being Where You Are and Doing What&#8217;s Important &nbsp; By Hank Robb, PhD, ABPP I purposely did not title this \u201cmeditation\u201d because it seems to me the word \u201cmeditation\u201d now has quite a number of different and contradictory meanings. One meaning is a practice that produces the \u201crelaxation response\u201d, the opposite of the \u201cstress&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":15191,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-15209","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","description-off"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.2 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Being Where You Are and Doing What\u2019s Important - SMART Recovery Self-Help Addiction Recovery Program | Addiction Support Groups<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/smartrecoverybc.com\/index.php\/resources\/addiction-articles-and-essays\/rational-thinking\/being-where-you-are-and-doing-whats-important.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Being Where You Are and Doing What\u2019s Important\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mindfulness: Being Where You Are and Doing What&#8217;s Important &nbsp; By Hank Robb, PhD, ABPP I purposely did not title this \u201cmeditation\u201d because it seems to me the word \u201cmeditation\u201d now has quite a number of different and contradictory meanings. 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