{"id":15221,"date":"2015-09-30T02:15:46","date_gmt":"2015-09-30T02:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smartrecoverybc.com\/?page_id=15221"},"modified":"2015-09-30T05:57:47","modified_gmt":"2015-09-30T05:57:47","slug":"common-self-defeating-attitudes","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/smartrecoverybc.com\/index.php\/resources\/addiction-articles-and-essays\/rational-thinking\/common-self-defeating-attitudes.html","title":{"rendered":"Common Self-Defeating Attitudes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Common Self-Defeating Attitudes and Fears<\/h1>\n

1. “It would be terrible to be rejected, abandoned, or alone. I must have love and approval before I can feel good about myself.”<\/p>\n

2. “If someone criticizes me, it means there’s something wrong with me.”<\/p>\n

3. “I must always please people and live up to everyone’s expectations.”<\/p>\n

4. “I am basically defective and inferior to other people.”<\/p>\n

5. “Older people are to blame for my problems.”<\/p>\n

6. “The world should always meet my expectations.”<\/p>\n

7. ‘Other people should always meet my expectations.”<\/p>\n

8. “If I worry or feel bad about a situation, it will somehow make things better. It’s not really safe to feel happy and optimistic.”<\/p>\n

9. “I’m hopeless and bound to feel depressed forever because the problems in my life are impossible to solve.”<\/p>\n

10. “I must always be perfect.” There are several kinds of perfectionism that can make you unhappy.<\/p>\n

Moralistic perfectionism: ‘I must not forgive myself if I have fallen short of any goal or personal standard.”<\/p>\n

Performance perfectionism: To be a worthwhile person. I must be a great success at everything I do.”<\/p>\n

Identity perfectionism: “People will never accept me as a flawed and vulnerable human being.”<\/p>\n

Emotional perfectionism: “I must always try to be happy. I must control my negative emotions and never feel anxious or depressed.”<\/p>\n

Romantic perfectionism: “People who love each other should never fight or feel angry with each other.”<\/p>\n

Relationship perfectionism: “People who love each other should never fight or feel angry with each other.”<\/p>\n

Sexual perfectionism: Men may believe “I should always have full and sustained erections. It’s shameful and unmanly if I have an episode of impotence or cum too quickly.” Women may believe “I should always achieve orgasm or multiple orgasms.”<\/p>\n

Appearance perfectionism: ‘l look ugly because I’m slightly overweight (or have heavy thighs or a facial blemish).”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"Printer-friendly page<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Common Self-Defeating Attitudes and Fears 1. “It would be terrible to be rejected, abandoned, or alone. 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